My Apologies

I have to apologize to my sister Bethany, Her birthday was yesterday and I forgot to give her a birthday shout out. Happy 25th Bethany! I love you very very very much!!!

The Scottish Play....Finnished

me, Banquo (Steven Grawrock) and The Porter (Kristen Henley)


The best make-up artist ever, Jacob Bladh

A Bunch of bad asses with their guard down

The Weird Sisters (Me, Shauny Worthen, Hye Soo Dixon)

Me make-up

Me Costume


Well, I finally have time to post now that the Scottish play is over. We had a good run and it was a great show. I have to give props to our designers who made even the most minor characters look astounding! And a special thank you to my personal make up guru, Jacob who prevented me from killing myself with latex and other make-uppy things I don't really understand. Long story short, best show ever!

Birthday Shout Out

Happy Birthday Brandt! I love you like a wee bairn, and I hope all your wildest dreams come true. (Accept that REALLY wild one with Richard Ghere and coconut oil, that one could get one of us arrested)

Frozen Hell

Hey guys, most of you already knew from facebook that I died my hair. I did it for Macbeth but I think it looks pretty good. When I posted about it on facebook a friend of mine said, "Wow, you died your hair? I think hell just froze over!" Hence the post title. What do you guys think?

Profiles in Obnoxiousness

Today was the first show I had to work. Here are a few of the interesting dialogues I had with patrons.

Patron: When the doors open, that's when we go in right?
Me: Yep.
Patron: (scandelously) What's up stairs?
Me: Uh...the balcony....


Me: Hi, are you here for the show?
Patron: Yes I'm just headed to the bathroom.
Me: oh okay.
(Patron puts one leg forward as if to take a step, stops and stands as though contemplating which way to go)
Me: The bathrooms are right down this way.
Patron: I know, I'm just holding it in for a second.

Me: I'm sorry, but I'll have to have you folks step out into the lobby, I've got to clear the balcony as quickly as I can.
Patron: Well, I know but we're not staying - what's the reason?
Me: We've got to get the set changed, there's another show on Monday and they've got to get the set ready.
Patron: Well, we won't look at it.
Me:....Sorry.....

What was that thing Mark Twain said about marching in a parade of idiots?

Zombieland!!!

This is the movie I wish I could see! I saw a trailer for it on youtube and it looked hilarious, I mean, how could Woody Harelson killing zombies with a banjo not be hilarious? But alas it is rated R for violence language and nudity, the three things I can't handle. So I'd really appreciate it if you guys would watch the trailer and tell me if it doesn't look like one of the funnier things you've seen. I'd also really be grateful if someone would go and see it and tell me all the parts where I'd have to shut my eyes.

Sorry Guys

Sorry I haven't posted anything for a while. I've been busy with school and rehearsal and stuff. So here's the latest highlights.

• Survived first three weeks of school
• Survived last week of festival and strike assignment
• Auditioned for two student shows
• Started rehearsing Macbeth (we get to practice in the Adams now!)
• Blew a tire on I-15 (Thank goodness me old friend Ben Partis was there!)
• Bought four new tires/got hit on by freaky hill-billy dudes.
• Fell in love with The Last Unicorn all over again.
  
• Heard Richard Bugg sing the entire Frito Bandito song in a Mexican accent.
• Formed ukulele band called "De Anima" with my girl chum Marlena
• Went to a conspicuously sheepless parade and drank iron port (aka nectar of the gods!)
  
• Killed my legs "froggy hopping" in stage combat (now it hurts to move, curse you Anthony Marotta!)
• Room mate informed me that if I wanted my dishes washed I should put them in the dishwasher (thank you captain obvious), asked if I was in love because I accidentally left the oven on (thank you captain intrusive), asked if my mom was in town because she saw a woman who looked and talked just like me (thank you captain, Wha.....???)
• Watched Futurama with Ben. (Look for a new season on comedy central in 2010!)
• Got to here Elder Cook speak live at the single's stake center. (Very very good).

That's the extent!

Now We're Really Screwed

This is what the moon looked like the night after all that smoke blew in. I had to go get something out of my car and I saw this and thought, "Now we're really screwed"

Perhaps We Have Sinned!

This is what the sky looked like on Sunday. As some of you know there was a fire in New Harmony and the entire valley was hazed over all day. It was creepy, it was like our lives were being filmed in sepia. I didn't get a good picture of the sun so I stole this one off my friend's facebook. This picture faces west, but to the east you could see the line between smoke cloud and blue sky. It's still hazy here and smells funny. We were hoping for some rain today but no dice. I was stuck helping company management clean out the equity actor's apartments. At one point I turned to my friend and said, "Perhaps we have sinned and this is our penance." I followed that up with, "If the world is ending today this is not where I wanna be...laboring on the sabbath....no bueno!"

Y'ar me mateys!

Y'ar me matey's! At least I hope y'ar. This here be my sexy new facebook profile pic in honor of my switch from regular talk to pirate speak, which is fitting because we Utahns talk like pirates anyway. We always say "yeah y'ar" and "Y'ar not!"

No Worries!

Hey great news guys! I sold my contract at academy square so you can tell your friends of friends of friend of friends cousin's sisters to sod off! Haha, just kidding (about the sod off thing, but I really did sell my contract so hurray!) Here's what else has happened.

• I finished the Hitch Hiker's Guide Series
• Got cussed out by some grumpy old codger who thought the play didn't need to start on time because he wasn't there on time (seriously his exact words were, "hells bells! they don't need to start on time!")
• I had some old nutter come up and stand by the lobby piano and sing about five songs. He didn't actually know all five songs, but don't worry, he made up the words he didn't know. 
• I signed a contract to live in a duplex next to Todd and Chris (we call that easy mooching distance). 
• I discovered the greatest quote ever, "upon the stage of life while conscience claps let the world hiss, on the contrary when conscience disapproves the loudest applause are of little value." or something like that. 
• I single-handedly offended the entire population of Belgium. (Not easy, believe me)

Moving

Hello everyone, I have recently found out that my living arrangements at academy square are not what I thought they were going to be. I am therefore attempting to sell my contract for the 2009/2010 school year. I know only about three people actually check this blog, but I also know that you all have friends who may have friends who may have friends who may have young single relatives who need a place to live in Cedar. So seriously, if your friends have friends who have friends etc. etc. tell them I am trying to sell my contract, the apartment is very nice, it has central air, wifi and cable included in the rent, a washer and dryer in the apartment, and a sink in every bedroom. Rent is $1290 a semester or if you want to pay by the month it's about $400 a month. So if your friends of friends of friends are interested my number is (as most of you know) 435-749-1820.

Today's Highlights

• Got into caberet (yay)
• Found out I can't move back into old apartment (boo)
• Didn't have to work the morning (yay to the yay)
• Had to do laundry (boo)
• Had clean clothes (yayish)
• Went to pastry pub (yay)
• Went to Hermies (yay)
• Got hit in the face with a frizbee (boo on a half shell)
• Had to work night shift (eh *shrug*)
• I now have juice (yay!)
  

A Good Excuse

You may wonder why I hardly ever update my blog anymore, well there is a simple explanation. To get the internet at my complex you have to walk down to the cross roads, sign away your soul to Al Gore, promise a contribution to the communist party of Colorado, sacrifice roadents to the druid goddess of fertility do a voodoo dance and mail your left nut to Dick Clark (did you wonder how he stayed looking so you for so long?) So before you complain about how I never post, consider the cost of delivering these snippets of hilarity. So don't be surprised if pictures are in short supply (they'd easily charge me another rodent for that) and if I wind up writing a lot of my announcements in itinerary form, partly because it's easier, and I think, funnier, so here are this week's high-lights.

• Worked four double shifts this week (contempt for human race ensued)
• Went to Albertoes late at night twice (corny Spannish jokes ensued)
• Disinfected about a million headsets (unshakable smell of baby powder ensued)
• Drank an entire jug of Juice in a day and a half (self-loathing ensued but briefly)
• Survived Board member's Gala show (hatred of play-bills ensued)
• Switched apartments (pure joy ensued)
• Explained Poligamists to friend from Rhode Island (Shock and awe ensued)
• Went to see Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince at midnight (movie critiquing ensued)

That's about it.

Sorry, no pictures

I really haven't had time to take pictures of anything that's happened to me, but I thought I should probably update my blog since you've all gotten so terribly bored of my old posts that you've stopped checking my blog at all (hmphf!). So here's what's been going on in bullet form:

• Worked all of preview week and openings. (much laundry doing ensued)
• Asked by patron why "everyone who comes to these things is fat?" (hilarity ensued)
  
• Had a few days off since we didn't have evening shows till today (Much slacking-off ensued)
  
• Got to see mine father who was in town with his wild teacher buddies for rural schools conference. (Much food mooching ensued)
• Noticed Patry Pub was open (Much joy ensued)
• Went to street fair for an hour or so (Partial Dehydration ensued)
  
• Stayed up til quarter to six in the morning (six hour nap ensued)
  
• Saw old friends from lyric who brought the new apprenti down to see the shows. (Jokes about my radio ensued)
  
• Went to the opening of season party at midnight on Saturday, ate rather disappointing free food, and wound up watching friends play halo at their apartment (much trash-talking ensued)
• Bantered with Fred Adams about the opening of the new Harry Potter film. He remarked that I have the eyebrows to play moaning myrtle (much confusion ensued)
• Worked my first evening show tonight (random comments from old people ensued)
• Got keys and the O.K. to switch apartments (packing will soon ensue)

So there 'Tis!

Birthday Shout Out

Happy birthday to my oldest sister Cammie. Can I get a whoop-whoop?

The Nerdiest Stalkerazzi Ever!

So, I'm pretty sure you already new I was a real big nerd, but now I have taken my geekiness to a new level, by stalking a world famous violinist. The story goes like this: I was headed to Wal-Mart to look for a new hair straightener because mine broke, and on the way I saw that Andre Rieu's tour buses were parked in the parking lot of Panda Express. So I pulled in and chatted with some of the musicians for a while, and they told me that Andre himself was travelling in the buses with them and that he was somewhere eating. So I ran to the nearest gas station for a coke and sat in the parking lot until Andre came back to the bus, then I stood by my car and waved to him. He waved back! So I got a little closer but I didn't dare try to talk to him for fear of getting tackled by his security staff. So I went back to my car to get my camera. I took these pictures from a distance, then the guy from the orchestra I talked to waved me closer so I could get a picture of him from the front, but he got on the bus right then so I couldn't get a good shot, but it's still a pretty great story because I got within five feet of the world's most lovable orchestra leader! Thank goodness my flat iron broke!
(The top picture is from one of his concerts so you can see what he looks like from the front)

According to Facebook.....

I'm going to get married at age thirty two to a hottie named Ariel who is also very funny and witty. Sweet!
(all information gathered from facebook quizzes)

Proof that Cedar City is completely British

The cockney coffee house.

Okay, I guess the Machiavelli comment was nerdier than the Caddie Woodlawn thing.

Suck on That Macciavelli!

Everybody, stop whatever you're doing and go to Cats that look like Hitler dot com! If you need a good laugh or just like cats you have got to take a gander at this website. (Stalin and Lenin cats not included)

Random Phot Friday (yet again, for the first time in a long time)

It's been a while since I've posted anything, mostly because I haven't had anything to post about that my sister's haven't already posted. But just so you don't give up on me completely, here is a new addition of random photo Friday, which I think needs to be reinstated.

So, this photo was taken last year inside the "Government Caves" or as we know them, The Blast Holes. As many of you may know, these caves were created by a government test to see if this kind of sandstone (I don't know the name, but my dad does) could withstand a Nuclear blast. They drilled holes in the rock and filled them with enough dynamite to simulate and A-bomb, then blew the place up. The rock passed the test! This isn't a very interesting picture, there's nobody in it and it doesn't even show the cave's true dimensions very well, but now it's a rare picture because after years of threatening to do it, the state has finally closed off the caves. No one will ever see the inside of the Gub-ment caves again.

Is my nerd showing?

I had quite the eventful week last we. I had a job interview, and I got to go home and hang out with my brother and my sister Bethany. Some of the highlights of my trip home include: watching pride and prejudice at three in the morning with Brandt, attending the Emery High Drama classes film festival, going to the fish and wildlife banquet, going to see The Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, and shopping with Bethany. Also this weekend my family and Brandt's business partner were present for what will forever be remembered as the nerdiest moment in the history of my life. Many of you may think, "you can't get much nerdier" to which I say, "oh but I can."

The story goes like this: we were all sitting around reminiscing about the restaurant scene in Castle Dale. Bethany said, "Hey Brandt do you remember how the kids who worked at the cafe used to trade food with the pizza place? They'd call up and be like, 'hey we'll trade you two malibu chickens for a calzone.'"

We all laughed and I said before I could stop myself, "O my gosh, it's like freakin' Caddie Woodlawn trading her lunch to the indian kids for...." It was at that point that I had to stop myslef from finishing that sentance as I had just realized how nerdy that statement really was, plus most of the people present weere giving me the, "what the hell are you talking about?" look. We all busted up laughing and I had to acknowledge it as the official nerdiest moment of my life. I remember someone said,"I don't even know what that's from."
So, to vindicate myself to a small extent; Caddie Woodlawn is a book written in the 1930's about a young tomboy growing up in Wisconsin in the 1860's which my second grade teacher read to my class when I was eight. It was turned into a film which I watched about a billion times. So there you go.

Happy Mother's Day!!!

Happy mother's day to all my favorite mammas! (Especially mine!)

Congratualations and happy anniversary!

Congratulations to Brandt On his graduation from CEU. And Happy anniversary to Cammie and Christian. They've been married a whole decade today!
Sorry Cammie, I don't have a picture of you and Christian.

Late

This post comes a day late. You see, yesterday was the one year anniversary of my Grandma Cook's death. I didn't think to post yesterday because I was running around getting ready for my acting final and things of that nature. But in between all the things I was busy with I stopped to think about her. It seems like a million years ago now that she left us and sometimes it seems like yesterday. Sometimes I still think of her and I miss her terribly. I miss her chocolate chip cupcakes, I miss her singing while she worked and I miss the way she loved everybody she met and how she lifted up anybody she talked to, not just her family, but everyone she knew. I don't think I will ever stop missing her.

MacBeth Dates

MacBeth will be the last weekend of September and the first weekend of October. I hope everyone who wants to come can make it.

Randome Photo Friday

This week's random photo is from my graduation night. I have about a million pictures of that night posing with all my siblings and friends and this week my finger happened to point at my this one of me and me mum! Me mum is one of my best friends. I have about a million nick names for her (mum, mooma, momula, mumzie) and every time I go home she makes me oatmeal chocolate cookie bars (you know the ones) for me to take back to Cedar with me. She always reminds me to share them with my roomates, which I never do. Heh heh. I'm glad my mum got to be at my graduation, and I miss her dreadfully every second of the day.

Random photo Replacement

Since I didn't post a random photo this week I stole this picture of Bethany in a plane off of Bethany's blog. I think this is the cutest facial expression I've ever seen. Look how terrified she is! Bethany you are adorable!

Spring at Last!

I was walking home from rehearsal today and I saw these lovely yellow daffodils growing by a rock. I thought, yaaaaay!!! spring is finally here!!!!!!!!!!!! So why is it still so darn cold?

McWhat McNeed McI McFear McDuff?

Hey guys, I got some news today that definitely calls for an emergency blog up-date. Your little friend Dory has just been cast in Shakespeare's allegedly cursed tragedy, Macbeth! Nothing big, I'm playing weird sister number 2, which isn't a really huge part but who cares? I'm in Macbeth! Thank you all for your congratulatory texts.

Big Loss

I'm sure by now you've all heard that HBO is planning to air an episode of "Big Love" that is going to feature a portrayal of the temple ceremony. Honestly my first thought was, "Someone's goin' to Hell." Aside from being dis-respectful, dishonest, ignorant and insensitive the producers, writers, directors, executives and consultants of HBO have put their souls in mortal danger. They are doing this to stir up controversy, to spark the intrests of curious bystanders and wannabe sophistocates who confuse contravercial plot matter with real artistic achievement. They know abosolutely that what they are about to do is going to offend millions of people, what they don't understand is why. They do not - indeed they cannot - fully comprehend the consequences this will have for them. That is why I have chosen not to write to HBO expressing my opinions. The producers, writers and directors of "Big Love" know that if they have stirred up protest they have done their job. That is all they do know.

I assure all of my readers (yes both of you) that I am just as shocked, horrified and disgusted as any of you. But I realize now that more than just LDS people will be offended by this week's episode of "Big Love." By airing this episode "Big Love" is "jumping the shark" as they say in show business. I won't be surprised if they aren't renewed next season. I believe that well-informed and sensitive Americans will abandon "Big Love" for it's display of calousness. After all, bad deeds do not go unpunished; Mosouri suffered worse (economically speaking) than any other state during the Civil War, and you and I know why.

The show is going to sink or swim no matter what I say to HBO (if they cared what I thought they'd make more episodes of Horatio Hornblower), so I have decided not to fan the flames of the fire they hope to start. Besides, there will come a day when the men who engineered this calous display will realize the full horror of their actions and lament them pitifully and that's good enough for me. In the meantime our best protest is to keep moving the church forward.

If you would like to read the churches official statement on this here's the link. I assure you it's quite fortifying. You'll have to copy this into your browser since I don't know how to embed it in the post so you can click on it.
http://newsroom.lds.org/ldsnewsroom/eng/commentary/the-publicity-dilemma

Random photo Friday

This week for random photo Friday I had my room mates choose a number. I picked the folder with that number then had them pick another number and picked the photo with that number, and viola! Kenneth Branagh, renowned actor/director! I stole this picture off the internet to put on the "thank you" page of my Sterling Scholar book.

The story of me and Kenneth goes like this:
When I was probably nine or ten I watched Kenneth's Much Ado About Nothing every other day of my life. I thought the film was great! Then I watched his Love's Labours Lost and I was hooked on Ken. I'm still not sure why he would dump Emma Thompson for Alicia Silverstone I will never know, but I still love him!

Kenneth appears most recently in the film Valkerie with Tom Cruise.

Stolen

I stole this idea from my sister Cammie who does a little thing called flashback Fridays where she puts a picture from the past on her blog every Friday. I like the idea of a serial....thing because I don't know what to write quite often. So I'm Stealing the idea, but I'm going to choose photos from my pictures at random.

This picture is me and Brandt by a conglomerate arch. Most arches are made of sandstone or limestone which is why they erode through the way they do. But this arch is conglomerate rock (big rock made of little rocks) and even though it looks like it fell across this ditch it was actually eroded through by a stream.

Picture Tag

I saw on Courtney's blog that she had her fifth picture in her fifth file so I pretended to get tagged and pulled my sixth picture from my sixth folder. this is a cast picture from my play at Old Lyric. We're all staring at the "shrine" to the left. Sorry this is kind of a depressing photo with us standing in front of Auschwitz and all, but the numbers don't lie.

My Furry Valentine

Remember how I'm like five years old at heart? Well, I got the perfect Valentines gift from me mum! This is my hamster. I named him Canute. Now Steve the Weasel has a friend!

Ipod Shuffle Fortune Telling

1. Put your mp3 player on shuffle (you can select Party Shuffle in iTunes)
2. Use the song to answer the question
3. Hit “next”
4. Try not to cheat
5. Tag some of your friends so they'll do the same

I saw this on Mike and Jayna's blog, so I did it myself and it was hilarious!

1. How am I feeling today?
July! July! -The Decemberists

2. How far will I get in life?
Mr. Really really really bad dancer -Bud Light commercial

3. What is my best friend’s theme song?
This little piggy - Rasputina

4. What was high school like?
One Vision - Queen

5. How will today be?
Tie your mother down - Queen

6. What is in store for me this weekend?
Mr. Basket Ball Sweat Wiper-Upper - Bud light commercial

7. What is the best thing about me?
I am Weary, Let me rest - The Cox Family, O Brother where art thou st

8. What song describes my parents?
Mexico - James Taylor

9. How is my life going?
These are the days of our lives -Queen

10. What song will they play at my funeral?
Does Your Mother Know - Abba

11. How does the world see me?
Sons and Daughters - The Decemberists

12. What do my friends think of me?
A Cautionary song - The Decemberists

13. Do people secretly think I’m good looking?
I'm Driving Down Highway 40 in My Big Ol' pick up truck - Space Ghost

14. How can I make myself happy?
Everybody's Talkin -Neil Diamond (cover, I don't know who wrote this)

15. What should I do with my life?
Is Anybody There - 1776 obc recording

16. What is some good advice?
The Bottle Rocket War - Pain

17. Will I get married?
Mr. Professional Figure Skater - Bud Light Commercial

18. Where will I go in life?
In Cairo - Hot Hot Heat

19. Will I have kids?
Mr. Giant Pocket Knife inventor - Bud Light Commercial

20. What is my current theme song?
Come To My Garden - MoTab (cover from the Broadway musical)

List suggestions

In response to my list of sitcoms some of you have made suggestions to add to the list. These suggestions were, Full House, Charles in Charge, and Cheers. Here's why they were excluded. Full house was excluded because, face it, it's corny. It's a good kind of corny, but still corny. But I must say, Bob Saggot is hot in a nerdy kind of way. Charles in Charge was not included because, well I forgot about it, plus even though I remember watching in on TV, I'm pretty sure I was watching syndicated re-runs, so I'm not really sure if it was actually on the air during my life-time. I remember watching re-runs of ALF on TV too, but it folded the year I was born. Cheers wasn't so much suggested as briefly mentioned, but again, it actually folded before I can remember so it's not really in my lifetime. Remeber the age poll is still open and I'm open to suggestions on what should be my next list.

Blog Updates!!

I've made some changes on my blog as you may have noticed. For one I have a new background! My old one was beautiful, but I thought it was time for a change. I also thought it was time to inflict some of my music on my loyal readers so I have added a music player, so you can groove to the Decemberist, Regina Spektor, and Two Gallants as you peruse the contents of my blog!
This is a boring post so I think I'll spruce it up with a list! Here is my list of the top ten sitcoms of my lifetime in no particular order:

1. The Simpson (longest running tv show in history, can't be bad)
2. Third Rock From the Sun (massively under-rated)
3. The Nanny (Turns out Fran Drescher and I have the same birthday)
4. Boy Meets World (Mr. Feeney got me through some tough times)
5. King of the Hill (I tell-ya-what)
6. Seinfeld (The stuff of legends)
   
7. The IT Crowd (I didn't say it had to be American, the brits know comedy)
   
8. Scrubs (I am JD)(only not a doctor or a dude)
   
9. The Tick (2000) (Yet another sadly under-rated sitcom)
10. Freaks and Geeks (I never watched this when it was on but I should have)
    

Age poll

Okay, so as you all know I am Clark Kent; if I take off my glasses no one recognizes me. What some, but not all of you may know is that I am also prematurely senile, but what most of you may not know is that I am often mistake for someone older. For instance: last night there was a man at my house, he happened to say, "stupid 19 year old girls" and I said, "Oh Thanks" quite sarcastically. Another girl who was there said, "you have at least three 19 year-old girls sitting here." He looked at me and said, "Nu'uh, you're like 23."
So, here's my question; how old do I really look? I know most of you know how old I am, because frankly, most of you remember when I was born. But if you were to look at this picture not knowing my real age how would you think I was? I encourage all of you who do know my age to encourage your friends who don't know me to log on to my blog and guess my age. Please, it's all for science.

Birthday Shout-Out

Hurray! Today is my sister Jayna's Birth day! Happy Birthday Jayna! I love you and hope all your dreams come true! (Plus I wish you some great b-day lovin')

Ding Dong! The Witch Is Dead! (and by dead I mean no longer living with me)

Ha ha! I am back in the good old CC, and I am in a new apartment! I no longer have to live with she who must not be named and I have some fun room-mates who go to my ward. I've also had a chance to employ my new sandwich maker which I got for Christmas. The maiden sandwich was a ham and butter sandwich. It was good. And tonight I maid a home-maid pizza pocket! Sorry this is such a boring post, but I'm really excited about this stuff!