A few years ago I started writing down my dreams. I haven't done so in a while but I really souls because dreams are great. At least my dreams are great. Even when they're awful they're great. So I thought I would take a post to share some of my most favorite horrible, funny, wired dreams by category.
Anxiety Dreams:
These are those recurring dreams that don't have exactly the same events but similar themes. Most of mine are pretty normal. I mainly have the one where you can't get to class or an appointment on time no matter how hard you try and the one where you forget a class you signed up for and have to do all the work in a day. I've only had the actor's nightmare twice ever. I have two recurring anxiety dreams I'm pretty sure no one else has. One where Sean Astin is my boyfriend and one where I have to walk through a huge room filed with taxidermy. The first one happens when I'm tense and watch a lot of LOTR to cope. In my dreams Sean is a great, supportive, affectionate boyfriend. We never make love but we kiss and he rubs my back and asks how my day was. The first time I had this one though we made out in a tree house and then he left me to have a relationship with my friend Jacob Begay (how did my subconscious fish that out?). The weirdest thing about the Sean Astin dreams is that he's always in his Samwise gear but not in character. The taxidermy one happens way more frequently. In this one there's usually a huge round room full of dead stuffed and posed animals and animal heads. I'm always forced to walk through it. Nothing else happens. The animals don't fall on me or come to life, I just hate the feeling of being surrounded by them. The worst of these was one where I had a two year old daughter and had to walk into a room full of taxidermy to get her.
Celebrity Dreams:
I have the lamest celebrity dreams. I had a dream that Kenneth Branagh was a teacher at my boarding school and I bought him a TI89 so he would quit making out with ladies in our common room. I had another one where I followed Shatner around a convention and helped him collect swag. I also had kind of a cool one about working back stage on a Neil Diamond concert at my High School. To thank me he gave me a quilt. My only saucy celebrity dream was about Christopher Lloyd. I watched clue a bunch of times one week when I was thirteen and I dreamed he was my psychiatrist and things got....unethical. I told my sister about that and she couldn't believe a thirteen year old me dreamed about doing the deed with the page page master. I still can't believe it. At least the Sean Astin dreams sort of balance that out.
Nightmares:
As a kid I had the worst nightmares. I dreamed my town was going to be wiped out by a volcano and the adults decided to leave all the little kids behind in the elementary school. The last scene of this dream featured a confrontation with my mother who causally told me that we were all going to die and everyone in the town they moved to would believe they couldn't save us. I woke up crying. As an adult my nightmares are worse because in addition to showing me my worst fears they also have levels of symbolism relating to real events. My worst nightmares as an adult are filled with ghosts. In college I had a dream of ghosts who got angry with me for sleeping with the seventeen year old son of the family who owned my house. At the time I felt all the guys around were younger than me. I had one a few weeks ago about the ghost of a mentally ill child who haunted the psych hospital I work at. He attached himself to me and became possessive and demanding and I had to quit my job. I was afraid to collect my things when I left because he was causing disturbances in my office. At that time I had a co-worker I felt was bullying me and I have an over arching fear of screwing up my kids lives. The worst from when I was a kid was one I had in high school where I was a serial killer but with no memory of my murders and overwhelming remorse for my deeds. I think I watched Summer of Sam before that one.
Oddly Realistic Things That Could Happen But Won't:
These are pretty common with me. Usually they are about conversations with someone I can't talk to at the moment. I used to have dreams after my friend went on his mission that I finally told him I was into him and he rejected me. In one of these we then had to sit through a long train ride with me snapping at him out of angry embarrassment. There can sometimes be surreal things in these too. Like when I was in high school and I dreamed I married my crush and moved to Provo and everyone thought we were a shotgun marriage. The surreal thing was that we tried to make a sex tape to send to the producers of Desperate Housewives. Sometimes these dreams are great like when I get to catch up with someone I miss. Like right after my Grandpa died I had a dream that I went to his house and just walked along the front lawn with him. He looked like a cross between himself and Gordon B. Hinkley (who died a short time later) and he smiled at me. That was it, just smiled and I knew he loved me. Also in this category are dreams where stupid things seem normal. Like the one where I asked my patents why they were giving me presents when it wasn't Christmas or my birthday and they said, "It's September 11th silly!" Of course.
Zombie Dreams:
I don't count these as nightmares because my zombie dreams our awesome. That's weird because zombies scare me more than anything. But in my dreams I am always awesome and the Zombies are are easy to kill and there's no gore. In one I stood on top of my car and killed zombies with a toaster. In another I was a cross between Steve McQueen and Charlton Hesston and drove a red charger and took out a bunch of zombies by pushing the car uphill with a rod, and letting it roll down the hill bowling over zombies as it went. When it got to the bottom of the hill I jumped in the open door before it stopped moving. My favorite one was one where I was making out with Mark Ruffalo when the apocalypse came so I ran and left him and the rest of the avengers cast to fend for themselves while I hid in a bathroom from the undead hord.
I tend to only remember my dreams periodically so when I do they all have similar themes. Like one week they're all about my feelings on marriage and another they're all anxiety. Last week they were all about awkward dating situations and running into my ex. I wish I could get a sampler of them all. I've dreamed in black and white, cartoon, claymation and one time there was a Hitchcock cameo. Sometimes I watch myself in third person and don't look like me. Dreams are awesome.
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