Finals, Youtube, and Chanelling Chekhov

So SUU is about to head into finals week, but, in my cleverness (luck actually), have finished all my assignments for the year, huzzah! This was a great relief until my dramaturgy (ha, Google doesn't know that word...and made me capitalize Google) handed me an old assignment, which he gave a B and encouraged me to revise it to get an A and the possibility of submitting it to a local theater for possible publication in their print materials. Let me be clear, I through this thing together in a night. I pulled three articles off of EBSCO, I read approximately three lines of each so I would have a few sources to sight and I made up the rest from what I remembered from the lectures from the history classes I've taken about Nazi Germany and nineteenth century Europe...and I got a B. My friend, who actually did research, and is an English major, so she writes far better than I do, got a C. This has been college for me! I don't know if I'm just rad enough that me half-assing is better than other people doing a good job, or if I have incredible luck so far and one day it will probably run out when the Wasatch fault finally cracks and I just happen to be in Bountiful taking a drive, or if I've put up such a convincing veneer of brilliance that people just assume that even if my writing is lousy I had a good reason for writing lousily, or if its that I seem like such a weird, goofy-pants, quirkster that any amount of coherence that come out of my brain is very impressive. I don't know, I may never know, and that's okay. But I digress, the point is, I'm pretty content to pull some crap out of my crevices and get a B on it. But the possibility of an A awakens my inner turmoil. You see my whole life there have been to forces at war within my heart: the one that wants to be truly excellent and the one that wants to curl up in a ball and watch Netflix. I asked my professor if we were required to revise our papers, and he said, "I would love you to." I said, "'Would love,' meaning it's optional or 'would love' meaning we'll get a worse grad if we don't?" He never did give a strait answer, but he went off about how he "would love" to have it published and be great and all that yada yada yada. And part of me wanted to run down to the first floor of the library and quickly revise it and throw it back at him and maybe get my A. And part of me said, "if you're not going to make me do it, I won't." Why would I? I'm done! I turned in my history capstone, and that was the end of it! I want to be done. I don't even care anymore if its good, in fact I know my citations were probably wrong, and I don't care, because the paper is in. I can either beg for extensions and go all perfection crazy, or I can go home and rest. So probably I won't revise the article...unless I get bored next week and decide to be an over achiever.

But rest sounds really great right now. I started getting a cold Saturday night and its not really getting better. So since I had no class and worked for only two hours I spent the whole day in bed, then I wen to work and went back to bed. This is the weirdest sickness I've ever had because I never got so sick I couldn't move like I do, but I didn't get just sick enough that I cough all the time, I'm tired all the time but I can't sleep when I try to. So yeah, its the most awkward sickness ever. It was kind of funny though when I was sitting in the ELC typing a paper on Chekhov. There I was, hacking up a lung while writing about a consumptive humorist turned playwright made me giggle. Then I felt like a nerd and when home.

So now I'm in my bed coughing up a lung and watching YouTube videos like nobody's business. And watching YouTube videos like nobodies business makes me all stir crazy and lonely. See, I love living by myself, but living by yourself gets lonely when you're sick. See, when you're sick you don't feel like you can go hang out with anybody because you're too tired for everything and because you're afraid of getting them sick. But when you have room mates they have to hang out with you because they live with you. So when you're sick and you live alone no one is forced to hang out with you. So you watch studio c on youtube til you fall asl................;.l;iadsm'