Axes to Grind

Believe me, when I decided to start blogging I planned to mostly write funny stories and witty quips, and special events and what not. I never intended the tone of the blog to be as vitriolic as the last post....or this one. Maybe vitriolic is a strong word. Yeah, I'll say....whiny, yes, whiny. I am going to whine, but I will do it splendidly! After all, I am the Wonder Llama.

I called this post axes to grind, because I have two axes to grind. I'd like to say I'm not a negative person, but...I get annoyed super easy, so I won't say that. The latest things that annoy me are misuses of words and misconceptions about the world (I'm not objective on this, don't worry about it). So anyway the misuse of words kills me because I think its linked to the second thing I say. If you use the wrong word its either because you really don't know what that word means, or you have some kind of bad ideas about stuff. Like the word "literally." We all hate the misuse of that one. No, you did not literally die, you are still here, you are talking, you are alive. What's even worse is when people say literally superfluously. If you drove over here, I don't need to know that you "literally" drove over here, because I didn't believe you could do that metaphorically or figuratively. Ugh! But this post isn't about the word "literally," it is about the word, "logic." I hear a lot of people talk about how certain things aren't "logical" or that there has to be a "logical" explanation, when they actually mean, "sensible" or "scientific" or "believable." We put so much importance on something being "logical." I think this is because we were all forced to learn algebra and geometry as children. According to the OED (OED!!!!!!) logic is: "Reasoning conducted or assessed according to strict principles of validity; a particular system or codification of the principles of proof and inference." Logic is a codification, a system, a method of devising proof, not proof itself. Even if something is crazy it can still fit into "a particular system or codification of principles of proof and inference." That's what both sucks and is awesome about logic. Something can be totally stupid and untrue and still logical. As far as I'm concerned logic's a fool. Take this example: in the 1600's the Catholic Church declared Galileo and Copernicus' idea that the earth revolves around the sun, heresy. The church's claim was that man, as God's greatest creation, must be placed at the center of the known universe. By that logic, if Galileo is right, God doesn't love us as much as the sun. It's perfectly logical if one assumes that God structured the universe with his favorite creations at the center. But the assumption cannot be proven, even by logic. As far as I'm concerned logic is a fool. The fact that we've made it a really important and misused word in our language is annoying.

The other thing I wanted to rant about is this misconception about life that most things are someone else's fault. Most of the people who actually read this blog have heard most of my stories about this misconception. Because my annoyance with it stems from my years of working in customer service. I can't count the number of times I've seen someone get upset because a show was sold out or their kid didn't get a pell grant. Some of my favorite phrases I've heard, and yes, these are direct quotes.

When the premier section of the Randall was sold out, "We couldn't believe you would hold a block of seats for anyone more important than us."

When I explained that a student's family made too much money for the kid to qualify for a grant, "So we're being punished for doing better?" (Can't tell you how badly I wanted to say yes to that one).

Numerous times, "You mean I'm calling TWO MONTHS in advance and you're still sold out?!"

So many times when I've had to tell someone that they'll need to submit extra paper work or that they didn't apply for a scholarship on time, that they get upset and start blaming me, or my office, or the government. To me it demonstrates an unhealthy dependency on institutions for conscience and unwillingness to accept personal responsibility. Everyone says, "this is a rip-off," or "no one told me," or "so you're saying..." when I'm not saying anything, I'm just relaying the truth.

I remember watching a thing on PBS right after Hurricane Katrina. It was documentary type show examining why the damage was so devastating. The tag line for the report was, "Who's fault was it?" I thought, "Oh, I don't know...maybe...THE FRENCH!!!! They're the damn fools who built a city between a river a big-ass lake and the ocean. But guess what, the Frenchmen who built N'Ahlands are dead! And no one can prevent a hurricane, so why waste time with blame, just fix the levies, or don't, whatever.

There are some things in life that are no one's fault, some that are your own damn fault, and some that are Rutherford B. Hayes' fault. The trick is knowing when to tell the difference, and how and when to respond. Quite often this means forgiving. I got this "sometimes-its-no-one's-fault" bee in my bonnet because I was surfing the internet and I came across a blog of a former LDS guy who wrote with resentment about the pressure he felt from his family and fellow church members how it led him to believe all sorts of things about himself. He said he felt that the church causes that pressure. Not only was it apparent that he had very little understanding of how much of that pressure comes from the church and how much comes from church members, but he really didn't own up to the fact that what really determined his behavior was the fact that he bought into the pressure. He chose to believe that other people were more right about him than he was, and that that wasn't his choice. I went through a similar thing. I used to think there was pressure on me to either get married or go on a mission. When you're single and your friends and siblings are married, people like setting you up. When people find out you're 21, Mormon and not married, they ask if you're going on a mission. When you say "no" they back-peddle, its good fun. I felt kind of bad that I wasn't anywhere close to getting married and I had no desire to go on a mission. I would rant about all the reasons I shouldn't go on a mission and how glad I was that I wasn't married. Then, over time I noticed that I was the only one who was talking about it. People weren't asking me about the mission because I should want to go, they were asking because they see it as an option and a good one. People weren't asking me about dating because its what I should be doing, they were asking  because that's what they did, that's where they were at my age and it was a good thing for them, so they think it would be a good thing for me. And guess what, that's okay. I really overestimated how much what other people say to me means about me, and how much anyone would really judge me if I didn't do what they did.

Own your crap! How you react to an outside force has way more to do with you than it. The government is not your mom, it is not here to punish and reward, it is here to maintain order when possible and provide a few services. Businesses that provide services are trying to make money, they are not trying to cater to you personally, they are not trying to hurt or inconvenience you personally, and they cannot control all the factors that surround them (if it rains on an outdoor show, or someone sneaks in a four-year-old and claims they're six). The people around you can't possibly know you better than you do. Most don't care enough about you to judge you and those that do care about you usually want to help you, and mostly they don't know how, can you really blame them for that? No one can control your behavior any more than you can control anyone else's behavior.

So what's the moral of this here incoherent ramble? This: most things are no one's "fault" and yelling at me is neither going to get your paperwork done sooner or remove the necessity of said paperwork. So shut up and go get your forms done.